September 13th, 2016.
This last Sunday I killed my cat. That is, I paid someone to kill my cat, a professional. This was not a “contract hit”, of course, but a run-of-the-mill euthanizing of a kitty whose time had come. She went out like cats often do. She was obviously not herself about five days ago and at some point went and hid somewhere in the house like no animal but a cat can. I looked for her over three days with no success, and then she just finally appeared that morning near her water dish so sick and weak she couldn’t raise her head. I’d seen this before. “I can’t heal up, I won’t heal up. It’s up to you to do the right thing. I’m ready.” So I did.
This also occurred on the same day our nation, fifteen years ago, suffered its greatest shock since Pearl Harbor. I’m not about to compare the putting down of a pet to that catastrophe. But, it did bring about some curious juxtapositions in my head about what it means to choose one’s manner of death, if that choice is ever presented in one’s life. I don’t want to prattle on right now about suicide– which is of course an obvious subject when it comes to the argument about opting for one’s own demise. Most of those I see are either years in the making, a long history of depression with previous attempts or gestures, sort of sad, foregone conclusions, or an impulse seen through with the help of a handy means (gun, rope, or easy access to a river or an elevation sufficient enough to do the job) and consuming enough alcohol to make it seem like a good idea. That day will come, trust me, and I’ve no choice but to brush over it today, but that’s not what I want to put a microscope on.
Taking my cat to the vet was nothing more that putting a quick and supposedly comfortable end to her misery. Her age was the biggest factor in not pursuing another option. She’d never been sick in her life, was well into her life expectancy range and what I saw, from past experience as well as knowing my own cat, was that any treatment option wasn’t going to give her much more and most likely was going to be just as bad as what was hurting her at the present time. The vet backed me up, but I didn’t need reassurance. I knew, and the cat knew. There are those that believe you ought to be able to do the same with grandma or old Uncle Pete. Hmmm… Another time, perhaps…
After kitty’s passing it became just another Sunday. Football, crappy food eaten in front of the TV, a beer or two and I gave myself permission to sulk for the rest of the day. In the evening while channel surfing I came across a documentary on the World Trade Center attacks. The focus of this program was on a photograph of a man falling to his death from the North Tower. He has since been widely referred to as “The Falling Man.” It was believed he jumped from the Windows on the World restaurant. This man was one of an estimated two hundred that fell or jumped from both towers that day. I recalled other documentaries from varying perspectives and points of view. One particular program I remember was a French film crew that had been following a FDNY station on an entirely different project. The sharpest memory I have of that piece was the firefighters and the film crew in the vestibule of one of the towers. Through the shouting, the chaos and confusion, you heard an unsettling noise, like a single, heavy drumbeat that was more of a “bang” than a “thud.” One of the film crew, in a voiceover, said it took of few moments before, all at once, the film crew and the firefighters realized it was the sound of people hitting the roof above them. Each sound was a life coming to an end, a life that not thirty minutes before was engaged in normal, daily existence. My thought at the time was “better to jump than suffocate or burn.” Watching the show on “The Falling Man” and the efforts made to identify him, I was surprised– astounded, actually– at the negative reaction people had regarding those who’d chosen to leap rather than burn. (Not to be gruesome, but the fact is that “burning” may have been too mild a term. Several floors above the inferno– estimated at 1000 degrees F in both towers– “roasting” would be more apropos.) To me, jumping made sense on several levels. I’d go as far as to say it wasn’t even a choice. Why would I stand, with several floors beneath my feet being consumed by flames, cutting off any possibility of escape or rescue, and know I’m certain to suffer horribly until the darkness falls for good? Why would I gasp and choke for minutes that will seem like hours, blinded, choking, knowing how it was going to end? And, finally, why would I let whoever did this to me, put me in this horrid, hopeless situation, have this kind of say in how my life ends? I saw jumping as defiance– a final gesture of self-determination.
I sat in the vet’s office for over an hour with my lethargic, quasi comatose cat curled up in a towel on my lap . It was busy. Every time somebody popped in, to do the paperwork, for me to hand them a credit card or, “to see how you guys are doing,” they always left with the question: “Do you need a little more time with her?” I understand and appreciate the sentiment. However, she was suffering. I was not there to extend it. My time was the time I’d spent over the last fifteen years. Now that time was over and I couldn’t understand why I would want her to remain in this condition for any longer than she had to–closure?
In our American manner of striving to sanitize death, “dying with dignity” is inevitably mentioned. In a nutshell, you have a say in whether or not someone shoves a hose down your throat and lets a machine breathe for you until your heart stops… unless they can get a machine to do that work as well. Then you can lay there and wait for the rest of your organs to ultimately fail. You are no longer required to put up that kind of fight any more. It took a couple of generations for us to realize that all of the wondrous advances we’d made didn’t necessarily mean you were going to enjoy your final days. We spent two generations thinking we could kick death out of our lives with science. And for anybody not to embrace this and cling to the very last breath by whatever means was a quitter. You can die at home now. You can stop the chemo, the radiation, the surgery. You can state your ideals and follow through with them and take you last breath where and whenever it comes and no one will think less of you. On the contrary, you will be anointed as courageous, noble and… dignified. I’ve no argument with this. I’ve lived it myself with people I loved. It’s how it should be. We’ve finally come to accept that hospital sheets and sterilized implements won’t make the end of a life better– or less final, for that matter. You can concede that the end of your life is inevitable, and to face it on your own terms is nobody’s business but your own.
That is, of course, only if you let it happen. Taking matters into your own hands is another story.
The Medical Examiner’s Office in New York listed every death caused by falling or jumping as a homicide. I see no problem with this, though technically it is not true. But there is in fact a loophole, and they used it. One problem is that most of the people who jumped, or fell, were not only pulverized by hitting the pavement, most of them were buried by the debris– tons beyond comprehension– after the buildings collapsed. Many were unrecovered and simply declared dead when they were never heard from again. Another was there were no living eyewitnesses from the floors they’d fallen from to provide any “history.” There were witnesses, yes, but none of them in a proximity that they could be asked “did they intend to jump?” though the circumstances made it pretty obvious. Some did fall. Some on the floors that were in close proximity to where the planes struck were possibly pushed through broken windows by panicked and disoriented people behind them, moving toward fresh and smoke-free air. Some were seen to fall after attempting to climb to another floor. But others, a couple holding hands, a woman holding her skirt down to prevent it being blown up by the velocity of her fall, or the well documented and photographed positions of the “Falling Man” indicate a jump. The loophole? Homicide can be listed as a cause of death if it is “loss of life resultant of an action initiated by another party.” This was clearly, unarguably, the truth. But the public perception in these cases is undeniably divided. You can put whatever you want down on a death certificate, but what many people saw was suicide, pure and simple. Even from families, who, as in the case of the “Falling Man”, did not want them positively identified. Suicide was simply too much of a load to add to the agonizing weight already dropped upon them by this unthinkable event. Be it their core beliefs, their upbringing, or imagining someone they loved being so terrified, desperate and hopeless they were forced to take their own lives is more than they can emotionally accommodate–more than anyone should– and more than anyone has the right to judge. Other people, those who’d not lost anybody that day, most whose only connection was the television or other media and thousands of miles away, perceived it as “giving up,” “not fighting to the last,” even cowardly. They could accept the other victims as heroic, but prefer not to even acknowledge those that fell rather than endure the smoke and flames. (There were some that complained the media had no business showing people falling.)
The other side of this issue was that those people on that day who opted to make that choice had to answer to nobody but themselves. Their choice was to burn and suffocate or take the only matter they had left in their lives into their own hands. Did this make them any less “heroic?” Does a coward or morally shallow person opt for a ten second fall rather than die in agony and disorientation? Or do they say “I won’t die the way madmen intended me to. I won’t accept that I have to take this.” That, too, is beyond anybody else’s scope of judgement.
My cat lived her cat life with an “attitude.” She was anything but docile. She bit me regularly, even when I wasn’t asking for it. She never– well, rarely– drew blood, but it was a solid chomp, nonetheless. One you felt. She wasn’t de-clawed, either, and she wasn’t shy when it came to utilizing all the weapons she had at her disposal. I actually preferred the bites. One of my friends dubbed her “Evil Orange Kitty” when he, against my strong and repeated advice against it, reached for her while assuring me that “all cats love me”. He snatched her from the floor abruptly and brought her up to his face. Less than a second later he had a shredded lower lip and “Evil Orange” was a streaking toward the basement. Sucking on his lower lip, my friend managed to say “All cats but one love me.” The only condolence I could offer was “Don’t take it personally.”
There was none of that on her last day. She couldn’t even hold her head up, much less offer a bite or a full blown, claws out swipe. When they finally put a portal cath in her foreleg to administer the cocktail, she didn’t even twitch. She sat in my lap for over twenty minutes with a tube in her leg and three layers of tape securing it, when two weeks prior she wouldn’t tolerate my dropping a napkin on her back. She ignored it, and the veterinarian, who at last showed up with the loaded syringe. When the vet reached for her, the cat didn’t make a move, not a twitch. And as I watched the pink fluid disappear from the syringe, “Evil Orange Kitty” was silent. A few seconds letter she grew rigid in my lap, loosed a sharp yowl and took a full body swipe, claws visible, at the gap of air separating us and the vet. Then she went completely limp. The vet was startled. She said, “She must have been very dehydrated and it took that long to reach her heart. The fluid can ‘burn’ somewhat. I’m sorry. That must have been difficult.” But it wasn’t. On the contrary, it was comforting. I hated the idea that she may have felt one flash of pain, but at the same time she still had one vigorous and assertive swipe left in her, and she took it.
Please don’t think I minimize the horror and grief of what happened fifteen years ago. What happens to a pet no matter how beloved, is beyond microscopic in comparison. No, there is not a shred of comparison. It was just a moment that, in its timing, pried my eyes open a little wider than they’d been in too many years. When a choice as difficult as how to meet death is put up, when the outcome is inevitable and unavoidable, but along with it is the unfathomable option to alter the means of accepting it, and having the incomprehensible capability to alter the means and manner, it is a moment inviolate by something as trivial as an opinion.
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